[She..... really shouldn't invite this guy to her awesome pity party because he didn't even know what a fridge was. Inb4 whole house burned down. He threw something because he thought it was magic too, didn't he?
What a freak.]
Hey, Sharrkan, have you stopped attacking everything you don't understand yet? If you have then I'll invite you to a party but if you haven't then stay away.
[ 1446. Decidedly a place that inspires conflicting emotions within him. On the one hand, his recently arrived cousin. On the other... Che. What a pain. Traveling just across the street -- with his starting point being 1443 it isn't exactly much of a trek -- and knocking on the door is honestly a gamble at this point.
Maybe Roxas would answer, the nice neutral option. Doubtful.
Nevertheless, even if someone unpleasant should answer the door, Sasuke has a contingency plan to keep the visit from ending up a waste. A plan involving divesting himself of at least one of those pesky roses and getting another step closer to accomplishing the goal of being rid of them altogether. ]
[ Nope, it was Sharrkan he'd have to deal with this time. Totally not someone unpleasant and he'd thank Mr Grumpy not to think so badly of him in the future. At least the General looks pleasantly(?) surprised to see Sasuke standing on his doorstep, so he's not about to start up a pointless argument or anything. Yet. ]
Hey! What's up, Sasuke?
[ Leaning against the door because he's too Sharr to invite the kid inside. ]
Sharrkan. [ There it is! ] I'm not here to see you, particularly. [ ... ] Ah, however-- [ And here is when he chooses to present a single yellow rose, knowing full well what it does already. Which is precisely why no one in his home is getting it; they're way too close as it is. It's sort of gross, really. ] You got these too, probably. I'll allow you one.
[ This kid always knows how to make a guy feel loved and appreciated. Good thing Sharr loves and appreciates himself enough to make up for all those who don't. Wait, that sounded like a masturbation joke. Damn it. ]
Awesome! [ Free stuff is great. Don't deny. ] I don't have any to give you, but...
[ He takes the rose and - wouldn't you know it - event magic must work fast because he leans against the door frame all relaxed and cool like. ]
[ Modeling will surely be in Sharrkan's future if swordsmanship doesn't work out. Too bad Sasuke has no capability or desire to appreciate that effortlessly casual Calvin Klein-level slouch . ~flawless~ ]
Hm. [ Another lengthy pause as he looks Sharrkan over, head to toe. Seems like that kind of thing really does take effect quickly. He wonders how it might be used. ] Sure. I could use some weapons. You can bring those to me if you have any.
No, no they are not. I suggest that you stay here and hope to yourself that these effects only extend to me. And for both of our sakes, that they will wear off quickly. [ Turning around and leaving after doing this embarrassing and horrible damage would be appropriate, however... ]
While I'm here, at least ensure me that you're not treating my cousin badly.
[ Sharrkan is a total idiot and hasn't heard anything about the roses and their weird magical effects. He hasn't noticed anything wrong with his pick up lines either, such is the will of the Lessor. ]
As if I'd even dream of it - he's a lot easier to deal with than a handful like you. [ A beat. Another stupid smirk. ] Although I'd love to get a handful of all that.
[ There is definitely something wrong with the pick up lines, even beyond the fact that they're pick up lines in the first place. They also don't appear to be having the intended effect if Sasuke's annoying as all hell lineface is anything to judge by. He takes a moment to peer inside the house for any immediate signs of disarray, a task made easy by Sharrkan's less than perfect posture. ]
You wouldn't. [ Though points for being blatant. At least he understands this flirtation, forced as it is. ] I'm interested in his health rather than your happiness about him being here one way or the other.
You know 'all that' meant all of you, right? [ He looks Sasuke up and down then gives a firm nod. ] But speakin' of your cousin, I didn't think you had a loving bone in your body.
[ Sharrkan is totes surprised to hear Sasuke actually cares about someone other than himself. He expected the guy to disregard any family that happened to show up. But his expression of surprise is just the lead in to another pick up line. ]
Or maybe you'd just like to have one.
[ That's when he actually points down at his crotch. Subtle and sensical. ]
If you're going to decide that you want to refer to your penis as a specific hard object, be consistent. I'm interested in my cousin, not in you. [ Well that definitely didn't come out right; let's try that one again. ] I'm interested in his well-being. Your "love bone" or whatever you want to call it is not relevant.
[ Too late for a correction. Sharr already laughed and is in the middle of trying to straighten his face out. ]
Settle down, Sasuke. He's doin' fine. [ Pffft. It sounded like he loves his cousin, haha. ] Still blind, but I don't think that goes away with time, not usually anyway.
[ Oh yes, really good, really hilarious, he is judging you so much right now, Sharrkan. ]
Fine. Then perhaps I'll speak to someone about a transplant. [ Right. Because that kind of medical advancement is no problem whatsoever. Fucking ninjas. ]
Don't feed him junk food, if you're even capable of cooking.
[ 'cause that's literally what he thinks junk food means. He sure does sound indignant about this. His cooking skills are actually damn impressive, ya little run. ]
Of course I can cook, I'd even make you a nice dinner if you want me to prove it.
[ Ah, but even though there are insults here, there are no breaks on the flirt train. ]
He could die. [ He feels that Sharrkan has answered his own question on this one. ] If that happens, I'm removing your appendages. Death is impermanent here so it will have to be enough for the time being.
[ Somehow this is a little more pleasant to hear. That Sharrkan at least recognizes Shisui's kindness and is willing to reference it, anyway.
Even the insult is better to hear than certain... other things. ] Fine. I'm not entrusting him to you but for now I'll allow him to live here. [ Because it's clearly his decision, okay. ]
[action] cause i haven't spammed your inbox enough today
[ Right now this is a huge disappointment!! But it'll be a huge relief when he finally comes to his senses and hates himself for flirting with Sasuke so damn much. ]
Pretty sure the only slot we've got open is for a nice little housewife. Doesn't seem like your thing, y'know? Shame, though. I'd love to see you in a nice frilly apron.
[action] I am not my muse, thank all divine beings.
... Now this is just getting obscene. Is it not clear to you that I'm a man?
[ What the fuck is crossdressing; just turn into a woman if you want to wear a female's apron! Gosh, Sharrkan. His traditional Japanese sensibilities are offended. ]
[action] you poor thing. One day you will have your emo phase.
[ A sly teasing smirk on his face as he looks Sasuke up and down. Not implying he's a woman, implying he's nothing more than a grumpy kid with an attitude problem. Just because you're thrown into a world of war and murder and gross flashback chapter fueled hatred doesn't make you a grown up. ]
But - if you want obscene then I'd be glad to give it to ya.
[action] I will suddenly be so much more ic when that happens.
[ He would beg to differ; clearly there are too many child warriors in this manga so let's allow them to be alive they're adults. Assuming they live past age seven. ]
...
If I found out later that you have spoken to my cousin in the way that you're speaking to me right now, there will also be consequences.
Which kid? Most of the brats I've met are a real pain in the ass...
[ Kinda hard to tell if he sounds excited or bored. Only not because the chance to boss someone around and wave a sword at them isn't something he's about to pass up. ]
[ Don't mention the magic, idiot! Sharrkan considers leaving a rude response out of principle, but he catches himself before he can turn the chance down right away. ]
Good enough. How young is he and how hard does he work?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
navelgeneral) wrote2025-01-09 01:03 am
[Text]
What a freak.]
Hey, Sharrkan, have you stopped attacking everything you don't understand yet? If you have then I'll invite you to a party but if you haven't then stay away.
[Text]
[Text]
[Text]
no subject
[Hostess with the mostest]
no subject
no subject
[She asks, despite putting her new address on the network a few days ago.
But she's ignoring that sarcasm because a) fuck him and b) she isn't trying to be anything more than terrible.]
no subject
[ The festivals he's been to have been huge, man. Huge! ]
no subject
[ What the fuck is he even-- he has the wrong idea, doesn't he? What a fool. ]
How many people do you think will be there?
[action]
Maybe Roxas would answer, the nice neutral option. Doubtful.
Nevertheless, even if someone unpleasant should answer the door, Sasuke has a contingency plan to keep the visit from ending up a waste. A plan involving divesting himself of at least one of those pesky roses and getting another step closer to accomplishing the goal of being rid of them altogether. ]
[action]
Hey! What's up, Sasuke?
[ Leaning against the door because he's too Sharr to invite the kid inside. ]
[action] 1/4
[action] 2/4
[action] 3/4
[action] 4/4
Sharrkan. [ There it is! ] I'm not here to see you, particularly. [ ... ] Ah, however-- [ And here is when he chooses to present a single yellow rose, knowing full well what it does already. Which is precisely why no one in his home is getting it; they're way too close as it is. It's sort of gross, really. ] You got these too, probably. I'll allow you one.
[action]
Awesome! [ Free stuff is great. Don't deny. ] I don't have any to give you, but...
[ He takes the rose and - wouldn't you know it - event magic must work fast because he leans against the door frame all relaxed and cool like. ]
...maybe I can make it up to you, somehow.
[ Did he just wink? He did ]
[action]
Hm. [ Another lengthy pause as he looks Sharrkan over, head to toe. Seems like that kind of thing really does take effect quickly. He wonders how it might be used. ] Sure. I could use some weapons. You can bring those to me if you have any.
[action]
I've only got one sword right now, but I don't mind if you want to get your hands all over it.
[ Get it? He's talking about his man sword. ]
I'm talking about my man sword.
[action] 1/2
[action] 2/2
I don't want your "man sword". Keep it sheathed.
I'm talking about knives, that kind of thing.
[action]
Why'd you need something like that?
[ Wait for it. Wait for it. Wait for it... ]
Aren't your sharp wit and killer looks enough, Sasuke?
[action]
No, no they are not. I suggest that you stay here and hope to yourself that these effects only extend to me. And for both of our sakes, that they will wear off quickly. [ Turning around and leaving after doing this embarrassing and horrible damage would be appropriate, however... ]
While I'm here, at least ensure me that you're not treating my cousin badly.
[action]
As if I'd even dream of it - he's a lot easier to deal with than a handful like you. [ A beat. Another stupid smirk. ] Although I'd love to get a handful of all that.
[ ;) ]
[action]
You wouldn't. [ Though points for being blatant. At least he understands this flirtation, forced as it is. ] I'm interested in his health rather than your happiness about him being here one way or the other.
[action]
[ Sharrkan is totes surprised to hear Sasuke actually cares about someone other than himself. He expected the guy to disregard any family that happened to show up. But his expression of surprise is just the lead in to another pick up line. ]
Or maybe you'd just like to have one.
[ That's when he actually points down at his crotch. Subtle and sensical. ]
[action] 1/2
[action] 2/2
Focus and tell me how he's doing.
[action]
Settle down, Sasuke. He's doin' fine. [ Pffft. It sounded like he loves his cousin, haha. ] Still blind, but I don't think that goes away with time, not usually anyway.
[ Especially not when you've got no eyes. ]
[action]
Fine. Then perhaps I'll speak to someone about a transplant. [ Right. Because that kind of medical advancement is no problem whatsoever. Fucking ninjas. ]
Don't feed him junk food, if you're even capable of cooking.
[action]
[ 'cause that's literally what he thinks junk food means. He sure does sound indignant about this. His cooking skills are actually damn impressive, ya little run. ]
Of course I can cook, I'd even make you a nice dinner if you want me to prove it.
[ Ah, but even though there are insults here, there are no breaks on the flirt train. ]
[action]
[ Hahaha, have you ever met anyone this annoying? No? Good. ]
I don't mean literal garbage. I'm talking about food that's unhealthy for his body.
[action] - special guest star QUALITY icon
I know how to keep someone alive, Sasuke. Come on, gimmie some credit. What's the worst that could happen?
[action] got a little bit of a duckbutt going there, Sharrkan!
[action] they must share a brand of shampoo
[ He won't let Sasuke get his hands on any of his parts either, aside from his 'hot meal'. That's another dick joke. ]
I'm used to feeding hundreds of people at a time and I've never heard a single complaint, I doubt a nice kid like Shisui'll have a problem with it.
[action] it's stylin'. fowls 4 life
Even the insult is better to hear than certain... other things. ] Fine. I'm not entrusting him to you but for now I'll allow him to live here. [ Because it's clearly his decision, okay. ]
[action] cause i haven't spammed your inbox enough today
Not your decision. [ Shit, could he look any more smug about that? ] If it bothers you so much, why don't you move in with me? Us. Whatever.
[action] my inbox isn't large enough to hold so many tags from you that I would be sick of them
... oh my god is he actually considering this?
He so is. ]
... I don't think it'll be possible. I have someone else I have to keep an eye on.
[action] wow look at you being sweet
Pretty sure the only slot we've got open is for a nice little housewife. Doesn't seem like your thing, y'know? Shame, though. I'd love to see you in a nice frilly apron.
[action] I am not my muse, thank all divine beings.
[ What the fuck is crossdressing; just turn into a woman if you want to wear a female's apron! Gosh, Sharrkan. His traditional Japanese sensibilities are offended. ]
[action] you poor thing. One day you will have your emo phase.
[ A sly teasing smirk on his face as he looks Sasuke up and down. Not implying he's a woman, implying he's nothing more than a grumpy kid with an attitude problem. Just because you're thrown into a world of war and murder and gross flashback chapter fueled hatred doesn't make you a grown up. ]
But - if you want obscene then I'd be glad to give it to ya.
[action] I will suddenly be so much more ic when that happens.
...
If I found out later that you have spoken to my cousin in the way that you're speaking to me right now, there will also be consequences.
Voice;
Voice;
[ Kinda hard to tell if he sounds excited or bored. Only not because the chance to boss someone around and wave a sword at them isn't something he's about to pass up. ]
Voice;
[Masrur isn't sure exactly. Though he hopes Sharrkan might be willing to help the kid.]
...he knows magic too, but he said he wants to know more than just that.
Voice;
Good enough. How young is he and how hard does he work?
Voice;
Hm...about Aladdin's name maybe? He looks like he is a hard worker...